Yesterday I went to record my poem for the BMA's permanent collection audio tour. (Before I continue, let me say that I love the BMA. Everyone I've worked with there has been wonderful, and it's a fantastic museum. I'm not here to bash the BMA in this post, just describe an experience in case it helps you if you're in a similar position.) I led two workshops this summer and fall in which participants wrote poems about, first the Looking Through the Lens exhibit, and then pieces from the permanent collection. The workshop participants and other poets around the state are all recording their poems and these will be added to the audio tour. I was feeling pretty good about the process - I've done this before, recorded my work - but it's amazing how quickly things can fall apart.
Once in the booth, I was suddenly asked to provide an introduction to myself for listeners, as well as an explanation about how and why I chose my art piece to write about, and could I also change one of the lines? Because there was some concern about misinterpreting the meaning and we must be sensitive to the reader, etc., etc.
I tried to comply with the request for an intro and explanation, but was given very little direction, and the person interviewing me kept stopping me and asking me something else or asking me to rephrase her way (which was often a contradiction of what I'd just said) or repeat what I'd said. This went on for over ten minutes and was very intense and disorienting. And exhausting. And quite an onslaught all at once.
I had not been adequately prepared for any of these requests. It's not easy for a writer or artist to articulate in the best possible way why they created what they created. You can usually come up with something on the fly, but probably are not happy with it, and it doesn't feel good to be pressured on the spot like that. We're not automatons. We can't produce creativity on demand. And knowing something is being recorded and - this is it, make it good! - makes it worse.
And the part about changing the line? Oh sure, hold on. Give me thirty seconds, I'll just completely rewrite the poem for you, no big deal. A poem is really a Mad Lib, right? Just tell me what you want and I'll plug it in. It'll just take a sec. Of course, as we know, changing one line in a poem can result in a tidal shift of meaning and change the entire piece. I was asked to write a response to a piece of art, which is what I did. A poem is not supposed to be sensitive. It is not supposed to make everyone warm and comfortable. It can, and some do, but by and large, it makes you see differently, feel differently, perceive differently, and one or all of these is, more than likely, fairly uncomfortable for the reader. That's what a poem should do - take you out of your comfort zone so you can SEE.
I did end up changing one little bit, as I'd confused two separate ideas, but was able to retain the core focus of the piece. The ideas I'd confused were just technical details. Fortunately, that has turned out to be enough of a compromise, and all were very nice about it, but had it not been, I would have withdrawn my poem from the tour to honor what I created. I was prepared to do that. Had I been commissioned to write something - a totally different prospect - I would have revised the piece until the BMA was satisfied.
An ekphrastic poem (a poem about art), or any poem really, is a reimagining - of the story of that piece of art. The poem includes some of the crucial facts, but the rest, as in any poem, is fiction - that reimagining. It is NOT an imaginative retelling of facts. That's called creative non-fiction. If that's what they wanted, they shouldn't have asked poets to do the job.
I called my best friend in LA to rant to her about this and she agreed. She said next time I should do the following (feel free to adopt this solution should you find yourself in a similar situation): stand up, throw down my pen, or crumple the paper with the poem and throw that down, and say, "My client doesn't have to take this shit. We're taking our business elsewhere," and stomp out.
She was just being silly, but she made her point (and we laughed like idiots over the idea; it was just what I needed). Part of you has to be your own best representative/manager. Part of you has to stick up for yourself and the integrity of your work sometimes. So try it. And if they are left wondering about your sanity, well, you're a writer. We all hear voices and have alter egos. All mine were cheering me on and I know yours will too.
